Written by Seo Jung Lee, Associated Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (USA)
Close your eyes and imagine sitting on a sofa with your partner in your first couple therapy session. What brought you there? How are you feeling? Are you sitting close to your partner or does it feel like there’s a mountain of space between you?
Relationships have highs and lows and with intense moments of happiness and sometimes discontent. It is during those critically intense moments when most couples seek therapy. While therapy holds space for couples who are in crisis mode, it can also hold space for couples in all stages of the relationship: couples who are wanting to know more of one another, couples who recognize that they fight over the same issues.
Relationships evolve every day. Think of two mounds of clay that are being joined and shaped continually. A relationship means one individual and another individual are trying to be a ‘we.’ Couple therapy can assist in creating space to talk about the process of becoming a ‘we.’ It provides a space to talk directly about the relationship itself and it’s a place for an objective voice in the ongoing conversation that is a relationship. It is a place to reflect how the relationship is going and to discuss how both parties want the relationship to be like.
At times, the conversation may be charged and manifest as a disagreement or communicating differences. This is bound to happen and differing opinions are bound to exist. In couple therapy, what’s important is to take a look at how differing points of view are being addressed and communicated. Therapy is a place to build healthy communication and interaction patterns and skills, that will prepare the couple for future difficult conversations. Couple therapy can work to prevent miscommunications and misunderstandings because both parties become more aware of their patterns, thoughts, and behaviors. It’s best to do this before disagreements become a dominant part of the relationship.
Now, open your eyes and see if you notice any repetitions in the relationship. Or is there anything that you wanted to address that you have not been able to do so. What is being said and unsaid in the relationship, couple therapy can help unravel however high the mountain or the hill is between you and your partner.
If you want to learn more about couple’s therapy services provided by AHS, please contact us at at 02-749-7915 / [email protected] / Kakao ID: AHSInquiry.